Celebrities Bring Back the Pompadour (Again!)

Jenny McCarthy (Steve Granitz/WireImage)The saying goes that when it comes to clothing and hairstyles, everything trendy eventually comes back into fashion. That's certainly true of the pompadour hairstyle, which, more than 250 years after it originally became popular, is having another moment. Jenny McCarthy was the latest star to rock the look as she walked the red carpet at the 2012 American Music Awards on Sunday, but she's far from the first to try out the trend, even in this decade. Celebrities such as One Direction's Zayn Malik, Rihanna, Ashlee Simpson, Alicia Keys, and Justin Bieber have all tried out the retro style that somehow manages to be totally modern. Bruno Mars and Janelle Monae regularly don the 'do, as does Pink, who caused a stir when she and Miley Cyrus both wore similar pompadour hairstyles for the 2012 MTV VMAs in September. So it's official: the pompadour is back! Again.

Miley Cyrus (Christopher Polk/Getty Images)Zayn Malik (Kevin Mazur/WireImage)
The pompadour originated in the mid-1700s, when a mistress of France's King Louis XV, Madame de Pompadour, began sporting it. "From there, it has moved on to generation and generation and now every decade a few celebrities are always bringing the pompadour back and putting their own twist on its original style," celebrity hairstylist Jose Eber, whose clients have included Elizabeth Taylor, Cher, and Julia Roberts, tells omg!. In more modern times, it's a young Elvis Presley who was best known for his pompadour — so much so that in July Time magazine included the King's poufy coif on its list of the 10 most iconic hairstyles of all time.
Elvis Presley (ABC)Pink (Steve Granitz/WireImage)
[Related: Taylor Swift Shows Off Wild New Hairstyle in New Music Video]
Of course, there are variations in the way Elvis, James Dean, Dita Von Teese, Gwen Stefani, and others have worn the look. But what all proper pompadours have in common — whether in the '50s or today — is that the hair is swept up from the face and worn high over the forehead. According to Raphael Reboh — a hairstylist who's worked with Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, and Claudia Schiffer — the style says the wearer "has edge, she is not afraid to take risks and she is comfortable sporting a classic style and making it her own. The pompadour is not an easy style to pull off for the faint of heart. You have to sport it with confidence!"
Janelle Monae (Cindy Ord/Getty Images)Ashlee Simpson (Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)
Still, non-celebs can pull off the dramatic 'do without making a trip to the salon. No, really! "It's simple," says celeb beauty expert Tai Young, who's worked with Vivica A. Fox, Common, and Queen Latifah. "Just part the hair in a section at the top, tease it a little, pull into a ponytail and tuck the teased hair in a slight ramp shape with bobby pins," Young explains, adding that tresses that have not been freshly washed work best. "The higher your pomp, the bolder you are!"
[Related: Lauren Conrad Says Her Hair Takes Seven Hours at the Salon]
And when it comes to choosing a wardrobe to go with your big hair, try not to overthink it, because the pompadour works with almost anything. "It could be funky pants, a dress, a suit, it could be anything," Eber says. "Honestly, I am not a (clothing) stylist, but I do know that the person who is wearing the pompadour — trust me, they will know exactly what to wear and what not to wear."

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10 Beauty Mistakes that Turn Him Off

Taylor Momsen
Eyeliner Overload
"The raccoon-eye makeup look à la Taylor Momsen is a big turnoff for me. All that eye shadow and eyeliner makes it look like she doesn't know how to use makeup, like a little girl." - Lawrence, 22
Makeup Mishaps
"I don't like when I can see a girl's foundation at her neckline. It makes me wonder why she doesn't like the way her face looks naturally, and it's clear she wears a lot of makeup. Or at least it's clear that she can't blend her makeup into her neck so that it's not obvious." - Alex, 31
Blinding Pearly Whites
"Overly-white teeth are a turnoff for me. I know you bleached them, and it looks synthetic and unnatural. In fact, I think it makes a woman's face look harsh." -Brian, 42


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Honey Kisses
"I'm not a fan of sticky lip gloss. When I kiss her it feels like she's got honey smeared on her lips. Plus, I don't want to wear her lip gloss after we kiss." -Geoff, 23
A Jersey Shore Hairstyle
"The Snooki poof is not an attractive look. Overall I'd say avoid any look that makes your head seem like it's cone-shaped." -Brian, 42
Super Scented
"When a girl wears a ton of perfume, I feel like I can't breathe. If I can't taste my drink because all I can smell is whatever scent you're wearing, I'm probably not going to ask for your number." - Peter, 22


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Cat Woman Nails
"I really dislike super-long nails. They look so unnatural and cat-like. And when a girl taps them when she gets impatient, that makes it even worse." - Lawrence, 22
Beauty Illusions
"I knew a woman who would draw a fake beauty mark on her face whenever we would go out. It's just obviously unnatural, and no guy is going to be into it when your beauty mark washes off in the rain." - Bryce, 23
Fake Baking
"I hate when girls go out of their way to be overly tan, especially if they didn't need it in the first place. Healthy, natural skin is far more attractive." -Addison, 19
Confidence Killer
"I dated a woman who would get really stressed out every time she didn't shave her legs for a day or two, and insist that I wouldn't like her as much. To be honest, I'm still going to think you're hot even if you go one day without shaving your legs, but if you keep declaring that that I'm not into you, I'm going to start wondering why I am in the first place." -Michael, 42

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After Israel-Gaza: Who won, who lost?

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• Analysts consider who are winners and losers from latest Mideast conflict
• Conflict represents qualified victory for Israel's PM Netanyahu, says Paula Newton
• Hamas has emerged emboldened from conflict and its truce, observers say
• Egypt's Morsy has proved he has leverage necessary to bring Hamas to the table

(CNN) -- As the dust settled over Gaza and Israel on Thursday amid relative calm, analysts were weighing who were the winners and losers from the conflict. How do the main players in the region now stack up?

Israel: The conflict represents a qualified victory for the country and its Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, according to CNN's Paula Newton. "Just months before an election, Netanyahu's government targeted and killed Hamas' military leader, Ahmed al-Jaabari. Hundreds of airstrikes on Gaza followed, but, the real victory was possibly the combat debut of Iron Dome, the U.S.-funded defense shield that kept dozens of Hamas rockets from hitting Israeli civilians."

The Israeli military itself said the intensity of its airstrikes on Gaza meant it made a significant dent in Hamas' offensive capability. Over the eight-day conflict, the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) looked to deplete some of the estimated 12,000 rockets it says Hamas has in its arsenal and destroy tunnels that are said to be used to smuggle weapons.

But some analysts questioned whether the death of al-Jaabari really would benefit Israel. Elizabeth O'Bagy, from the Washington-based Institute for the Study of War, told CNN she believed it was in fact a mistake. "It will lead to the proliferation of extremist groups (in Gaza), less control over rocket attacks and an increase in violence against Israel."

Analysis: Conflict shifts balance of power in the Middle East

Nervous calm in Israel after cease-fire

Analyst: Killing Hamas chief was mistake

Mitchell: Continuing to try for peace

Map: Israel

Al-Jaabari controlled the militias with an iron grip, as Jon Alterman, for the Washington-based Center for Strategic and International Studies, pointed out. "There were people in Hamas jails for firing rockets at the wrong time and al-Jaabari was one of the guys who put them in jail. Now when someone decides to take a pot-shot, they can take a pot-shot."

The background of the conflict took place in a region greatly changed since the last significant violence of 2008-09. In the UK's Daily Telegraph, Richard Spencer wrote that the Arab Spring had changed the situation significantly for Israel: "Once it could afford to retreat into a default position of using overwhelming force in its own defence. After all, the Arab dictators it faced were equally unflinching -- in their rhetoric, at least, even if their actions often failed to match.

"Now Israel has a political base that is more divided and broad-ranging than ever before, and allies that are profoundly uneasy about its policies. And suddenly its neighbours are more pluralist. Hamas has new democratic allies abroad, in many cases allied to the U.S. -- Egypt, Turkey and Qatar prominent among them."

Israelis also have elections to think about

Even before the cease-fire was brokered, CNN's Nic Robertson observed: "Where does this leave Israel? Simply put, while Israel is stronger militarily, it is in a weaker political position than it was in 2009.

"The long universal of the Arab world is a dislike of the Israeli state's treatment of Palestinians. In the past most Arab leaders were dictators, able to take a path far different from the views of the Arab street. Not any more. The region's new post-Arab Spring democratically-elected leaders are only too aware of the radical hardliners waiting for an opportunity."

Hamas: Despite the deaths and destruction in Gaza, the Islamist political movement that rules the territory has emerged emboldened from this conflict and its truce, according to some observers.

"Hamas has emerged stronger, it has consolidated its control over Gaza and it has gained now more legitimacy," said Aaron David Miller, a Middle East scholar at the Woodrow Wilson Center, told CNN.

In the eyes of many Palestinian people, the militant leaders of Gaza took on Israel more boldly than ever before, firing rockets farther than ever before. And they may yet manage to get an easing of the Gaza economic blockade if a more comprehensive deal can be reached.

Timeline: Israel-Gaza conflict

"Look what they accomplished; they, rather than (President Mahmoud) Abbas, has put the Palestinian issue back on the international stage," says Miller.

But with Al-Jaabari once a key figure in uniting rag-tag Hamas militias into organized brigades, counter-intuitively his death could mean more unrest ahead. "He was an enforcer of peace as well as war," said Alterman, adding that his death may "make it not only harder to reach a peace agreement, but it can make it harder to avoid war."

Fatah: Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas and his Fatah faction that governs the West Bank have lost much in this conflict, commented CNN's Newton. "He was supposed to be the moderate peace broker who could finally forge a new deal with Israel. Now he cannot even claim to speak for all Palestinians and has shown that he has no leverage with Hamas, his archrival."

In an op-ed for CNN, Danielle Pletka, vice president for foreign and defense policy studies at the American Enterprise Institute, said Hamas was not trying to destroy the state of Israel. "Rather, it was to gain the upper hand in its endless and fruitless battle against Fatah for the Palestinian political mantle, ideally with the wind of the Arab world's Islamist revolutions at its back. That won't happen either.

"Egypt's Mohamed Morsy and Turkey's Recep Tayyip Erdogan are willing to lend rhetorical support and a few visits to Gaza, but they're never going to do anything substantial for Palestinians because they neither care enough about actual Palestinian people nor wish to queer their pitch with Europe and the United States."

Egypt: President Mohamed Morsy, clearly underestimated, deftly navigated what is a minefield of competing interests, including those of his own country.

Hamas has emerged stronger, it has consolidated its control over Gaza and it has gained now more legitimacy.
Aaron David Miller

"For a civilian president in Egypt perceived as a weak leader, he has, much to everyone's surprise, delivered," said Miller.

Morsy proved he had the leverage necessary to bring Hamas to the table and get its leadership to agree to a cease-fire. Brokering that deal has given him much needed political capital in both the Arab world and the United States.

Under former President Hosni Mubarak, the country's security forces had suppressed its own Islamists in the Muslim Brotherhood, even jailing Morsy at one point. That gave Morsy and his government influence with Hamas that Mubarak, a product of Egypt's military establishment, never had, said Fawaz Gerges, a professor of international relations and Middle East analyst at the London School of Economics.

"Hamas listens to Mohamed Morsy," Gerges told CNN as the talks were still going on. "Hamas looks up to Egypt now, at this particular stage, and that is why Egypt has emerged as the most important state vis-a-vis Hamas and Gaza." Egypt's role in the talks was "pivotal," he said.

Egypt and Morsy proved 'pivotal' in Gaza cease-fire talks

Iran: The Islamic republic's nuclear program was one of the unspoken aspects to the conflict, according to world affairs columnist Frida Ghitis. "Iran and its nuclear program also play a powerful psychological role, as observers and participants ponder the parallels between the latest Israel-Hamas conflict and a possible war in which Iran would stand against the U.S. or Israel, and perhaps other NATO allies.

"Little wonder then that Israel has received strong support from U.S. President Barack Obama -- who has repeatedly stated, "We are fully supportive of Israel's right to defend itself from missiles raining on people's homes" -- as well as from nations including the UK, Germany, Canada, Australia, the Netherlands and others.

"When Israelis see a rocket launched from Gaza, the thought that one day that rocket could carry nuclear materials burns hot in their mind."

But Iran's hand was arguably weakened after this episode as Israel's Iron Dome shot hundreds of its missiles out the sky, CNN's Newton said.

While Israel has always accused Iran of smuggling weapons to Hamas through the Egyptian border, Iran today implicitly confirmed it.

"Gaza is under siege, so we cannot help them. The Fajr-5 missiles have not been shipped from Iran. Its technology has been transferred (there) and are being produced quickly," Mohamed Ali Jafari, the head of Iran's Revolutionary Guard, is quoted as saying by the Iranian news agency ISNA.

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Study: Everyone, Everything Linked To Paranoia

Researchers claim all of it, absolutely all of it, can be definitively linked to paranoia.

BALTIMORE—According to a study published Tuesday in The New England Journal Of Medicine, researchers at Johns Hopkins University have succeeded in conclusively linking everyone and everything everywhere to paranoia.
The comprehensive 11-month study—which was designed to establish that it’s all tied to paranoia, all of it, and absolutely everyone is in on it—was able to connect extreme cases of paranoid behavior with the government, the media, doctors, Palestine, the meat industry, stoplights, and everything in existence, all working together, conspiring against us.
“Our research shows statistically significant correlations between episodes of paranoia and fast food chains, Time magazine, the growing military-industrial-media complex that holds all Americans hostage, honeybees, my mother, and China,” said an unshaven, disheveled Dr. Adam Crane, lead author of the paper. “During routine tests, we saw that not only was frantic suspicion and extreme distress a symptom of everything being part of one big conspiracy, but it was also a direct response to the fact that everyone in the world, here and in other countries, is watching us right now at this very moment.”
“Furthermore, our data confirmed this phenomenon goes all the way to the top,” Crane added. “Straight to Obama, Bernanke, the pope, NASA, Jeff Leialoha of Ann Arbor, MI. Everyone.”
Enlarge Image“Don’t you see how it’s all connected?” researchers say.
Confirming there was no escape in sight, no escape whatsoever, Crane told reporters that paralyzing feelings of mistrust can almost certainly also be tied to indisputable proof that the whole thing is bigger and more detailed than anyone could have ever imagined. So much fucking bigger.
According to researchers, three out of 10 consecutive trials found paranoia stemmed from the tiniest granule of sand to the cosmos itself, and went “way, way beyond” just the grocery baggers at Safeway, Operation Desert Storm, the AIDS epidemic, and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. At least four additional lab-controlled experiments showed high levels of emotional distress stemming from the discovery that microchips—CIA-monitored microchips—have been embedded in all newborns’ skulls to poison their mental stream with Visa propaganda from day one.
Additionally, the study confirmed that they know. They all know. And they know we know, sources said.
“Crickets, of course, we knew were in on it, and it was certainly no surprise that the 1996 Indiana Pacers were in some way involved,” study co-author Dr. Laura Zhang told reporters. “But I personally was not aware of just how closely linked to paranoia my own colleagues were, and how even my closest research partners, these people I thought I could trust, were in on it all along.”
“Do not tell them I talked to you, do you understand me?” Zhang added. “Research suggests there is a good chance they are recording this conversation right now."
The researchers said that while they were able to verify the link between paranoia and the Illuminati, Chelsea Handler, the fluoride in tap water, and everyone and everything else in the world, their study still left many questions unanswered.
“What we hope to figure out through follow-up studies is who—if anyone—can still be trusted with this information,” Dr. Crane said. “I mean, how deep does this thing go? Students? Department heads? Family? Friends? Reporters?”
“Reporters!” Crane added as he frantically ran out of the room.

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The Onion's Guide To Hosting A Perfect Thanksgiving

Every host wants to pull off the perfect holiday gathering with a delicious, stress-free meal that leaves friends and family happy and satisfied. Here are some helpful tips to ensure your Thanksgiving is pleasant and memorable:

• Accommodate your vegan guests by providing a few unappetizing dishes
• If guests bring dishes of their own, give the dog a bite first to confirm none is laced with poison
• Invite guests to lend a hand in the preparation by periodically dropping a utensil in the kitchen, shouting an obscenity, and slamming the oven door shut
• Instead of worrying about dirty dishes, leave them outside overnight for the raccoons to lick good and clean
• Keep bringing out food to avoid participating in any conversations
• I told you a thousand times to cook the stuffing in a separate dish, and now it’s all soggy. What the fuck is wrong with you?
• Say a phrase like “Here it is!” or “It’s time, everybody!” when bringing out the turkey
• Have children sit at a smaller table so they feel gigantic
• Cook a dish representative of each guest’s ethnicity and then say, “This is for you,” as you hand it to them in front of everyone
• Avoid potentially awkward situations with creative seating arrangements; for example, try putting a chair or two on top of the table and maybe one in the bathroom

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I Won't Have My Daughter Bringing A Black Man Into This House Until I've Tidied Up And Created A Welcoming Environment

This is unbelievable. A goddamned outrage, actually, is what it is. My daughter Lucy, my own flesh and blood, is bringing home this…this…black man in less than an hour. "Marlon" something or other, she tells me. Marlon! Well, I won't stand for it. As long as I have breath in my body, no daughter of mine will bring a black man into this house until I've cleaned it up a little, maybe picked up a good bottle of wine, and made damn sure I have everything I need to make him feel right at home.
Not now, not ever.
I'm just glad her grandfather isn't alive to see this. Imagine, his sweet little Lucy, arm-in-arm with a black man, traipsing right through the front door of the house that he built with his own two hands while the coffee table is covered with old magazines and I don't even have a cup of tea to offer the young fellow.
Pops must be spinning in his grave.
A black guy, for chrissakes, in my home, eating my goddamned food! I have to find out what he likes and swing by the gourmet market!
Jesus H. Christ. This is all my fault, isn't it? You try to raise them right, to show them the way things work in this world. Maybe if I'd been stricter with Lucy back then, she wouldn't be sauntering around my house with a black man, pretty as you please, without first giving her old man a heads-up so he can do the dishes that are piled up in the sink right there where everyone can see them.
It's a goddamned shame, I tell you. Mark my words, no black man will ever set foot in here until I've had time to whip up a quick bruschetta at the very least!
And just think of what this will do to Lucy's poor mother! Kathryn will be absolutely devastated. What do I even say? "Hey, honey, guess what? Your daughter is coming home with a black man and we're all out of the nice microbrewed beer. Shall I just throw the door wide open and we'll sit in the dusty dining room chairs next to the unfolded laundry and wait for them to waltz right in? Then maybe we can bust out the Monopoly board and spend an hour looking for all the missing pieces while Lucy and her black boyfriend look on in uncomfortable silence. How's that sound, dear? No, you'd rather lock yourself in the bathroom and sob uncontrollably? Okay."
Good Lord, Kathryn will be crushed! Inconsolable.
What is the world coming to when this can happen right in your very own home? Thirty minutes from now, a young black man will be sitting in my den, and I don't even have my shotgun handy. I took it to the antique shop to be relacquered last week, which is too bad, because it really looks nice hanging over the mantle next to the hand-carved wooden duck decoys. Now Marlon won't get the full effect of the hunting tableau, which is really what anchors the whole room.
This is totally unacceptable! This could be my future son-in-law we're talking about here!
Well, there's only one thing to do. Kathryn and I are just going to have to meet them out front, very clearly explain to Lucy that, come hell or high water, she will not be bringing a black man into our house, and then take them right out and treat them both to a lovely, lovely dinner.
Maybe we can take him to go eat watermelon salad and fried chicken tempura at that new Asian fusion place.

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20,000 Sacrificed In Annual Blood Offering To Corporate America

The High Priest appeases Corporate America with another fresh sacrifice.

WILMINGTON, DE—The nation looked on in reverence Friday as 20,000 citizens were decapitated, dismembered, and burned alive in the name of Corporate America, continuing the age-old annual rite to ensure bounteous profits in the coming fiscal year.

"Corporate America has always provided us with plenty," said High Priest James N. Cahill, who opened the ceremony by plunging the horn of a bull into a fair-haired child's abdomen and using the freshly spilled blood to write the current value of the Dow Jones Industrial Average upon sacred parchment. "JPMorgan Chase, General Electric, and all in the great pantheon of publicly traded entities will continue to watch over us so long as we appease them each year with human lives."

"The prophecies are clear," Cahill continued. "As we utter the hallowed incantations and make our humble sacrifices of flesh, so shall the shelves of retailers overflow with the most desirable consumer products."

The blood offering follows last week's Feast of Increasing Market Values, a yearly celebration during which Americans gather with their families under the second Q4 full moon to give thanks to corporations and to pray for cash dividends during the holiday shopping season.

Enlarge ImageThe grand foyer of one of the nation's great corporate overlords, to whom tribute was bountifully paid this week.

In accordance with tradition, Friday's ritual—hosted this year by the Greater Wilmington Convention Center—included stonings in honor of Monsanto, the drowning of elders on behalf of Ford, and live flayings in the name of Whole Foods.

"A joyful noise filled the hall as the priest pulled the first virgin's heart from her chest and recited the ancient, mystical section 102(a)(3) of the Delaware General Corporation Law," said 44-year-old disciple David Infantes, recalling the blasts from plastic horns donated by Wells Fargo that accompanied a young girl's lifeless body rolling down the altar steps. "In that moment, I pledged my soul anew to our blessed Corporate Overlords, increasing profits be upon them."

By many accounts, the highlight of the evening took place when the 500 Shareholder Guardians, wearing robes adorned with logos of the nation's top-ranked businesses and chanting optimistic revenue projections, used their companies' balance sheets to ignite the alcohol-soaked vestments of the "cursèd and damnable" children born the day Lehman Brothers collapsed.

"To quick profits on high-risk, short-term investments of other people's money!" the assembled masses shouted in unison. "Quick and easy profits for all eternity!"

The ceremony drew to a close as the High Priest bathed in the accumulated blood on the altar and cleansed himself in the Font of Gross Receipts, symbolically rinsing the corporate world of undesirable red ink and granting it immunity from disclosure of negative earnings.

Though the ceremony's origins are shrouded in mystery, most scholars agree on its historical success, noting that the yearly killings have coincided with an exponential growth in corporate earnings over the past two centuries. Recently, however, some high-profile academics have suggested the practice is flawed, citing the recent economic malaise as evidence.

"We're stuck in the Dark Ages if we still believe some elaborately choreographed, archaic ritual has any impact on today's dynamic multinational corporations," New York University professor Nouriel Roubini said on CNBC this week. "If we really want Corporate America to restore our prosperity, then we have to own up to the facts, face reality, and kill every last one of our firstborn sons with our own bare hands."

"It was a great honor for my daughter to be chosen by a company as esteemed as Best Buy," said ceremony attendee Mark Granaldi, who, as a family member of one of the sacrificed, received a complimentary gift bag that included Crest whitening strips, a $25 Hess gas card, Old Navy board shorts, and a tote bag bearing the trademark of Merck. "Just as the flames rose from her body toward heaven, so too shall Best Buy's stock price climb ever higher."

At press time, Corporate America had conferred upon its devout followers the blessings of several new Doritos flavors and a sacred promise to release a deluxe unrated edition of Salt, starring Angelina Jolie, on Blu-ray.

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